Nп/п : 82 из 100
От : George Pope 1:153/757 11 июн 23 08:19:24
К : All 11 июн 23 20:15:12
Тема : Metric Dozen for 11-Junuary (not a typo)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@MSGID: 1:153/757.0 55403a40
@TZUTC: -0800
@CHRS: LATIN-1 2
Welcome to another edition of the Metric Dozen Punnies & Funnies,
personally curated by yours truly, the Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM.
Please do comment as to which you loved & which you hated. . .
Also, at any time, let me know if you`re done with receiving
these. Because you`re a mate, I won`t even charge you my usual $19.00
cancelation fee! ;)
-= 1 =-
Heard on AM1060 Calgary Comedy Radio: Larry the Cable Guy was on a
bus, went to the back to take a crap, & discovered there was no toilet
paper, after he`d finished, so he went to the front of the bus & told
the driver, "There ain`t no toilet paper back there."
The driver replied, "There ain`t no toilet on this bus!"
He was madder than an albino trying to hitchhike in a snowstorm.
-= 2 =-
Jeff Foxworthy on Calgary AM1060 24/7 comedy radio: "Getting married
to get sex is like buying a 747 to gat a little bag of peanuts!"
-= 3 =-
I consulted my Psychic Gauze Pad about Trump`s trial: "What will
happen if he`s found guilty?"
PG: On his first night, his giant cellmate will offer to show him
why it`s called `The Pokey`"
-= 4 =-
If you rarely drive on snow, just pretend you`re taking your grandma to church.
There`s a platter ofbiscuits and two gallons of sweet tea in glass
jars in the back seat. She`s wearing a newdress and holding a crock pot
full of gravy.
-= 5 =-
Q: how do you describe the process of a Buddhist converting to
Confucianism? A: that` was Zen, this is Tao.
-= 6 =-
One I heard last night on "The Great American Joke Off":
Q: in the US, it`s called an eggplant; what is it called in
Canada? A: a chicken
-= 7 =-
Just being silly:
Q: Which 1970s` tv cop could deodorize a stinky room? A: Airwick Estrada
-= 8 =-
A old favourite ofmine from the early `90s:
In a recent magazine poll, readers established "waka" as the proper
pronunciation for the angle-bracket characters < or >. The following poem appeared
recently in the magazine.
The text of the poem follows:
< > ! * ` ` #
^ " ` $ $ -
! * = @ $ _
% * < > ~ # 4
& [ ] . . /
| { , , SYSTEM HALTED
The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, as such:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash, Caret quote back-tick dollar
dollar dash, Bang splat equal at dollar under-score, Percent splat waka
waka tilde number four, Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH!
-= 9 =-
Every fight`s a food fight when you`re a cannibal
--Dmitri Martin
`
-= 10 =-
Time for me to write a dad joke, inspired by a recent
dictionarycom contest`s parameters:
Q: Why did the dictionary cross the road?
A: The chicken needed to clarify how a man could be laying bricks over there.
--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
SEEN-BY: 50/109 134/100 153/135 141 143 757 7715
154/10 218/840 221/1 6
SEEN-BY: 240/1120 250/25 280/464 301/1 113 708 812
335/364 341/66 234 460/58
SEEN-BY: 463/68 467/888 5001/100 5005/49 5020/715
848 1042 4441 12000 5030/49
SEEN-BY: 5030/1081 5058/104 5061/133 5064/56
5075/128 5080/102 5083/444
SEEN-BY: 5090/958
@PATH: 153/757 221/6 301/1 5020/1042 4441